Baby makin' music

With the news that superhorses Curlin and Rachel Alexandra have produced a foal, it's got me playing Frankenblogger and wondering what other Louisville studs should procreate. Some ideas...

* T-Will and Angel McCoughtry. This is an easy one. The two best basketball players to wear a Cardinal uniform in the last decade played in the same era, and everyone was a hopeful matchmaker. With T-Will's athleticism and Angel's perimeter scoring, the young Williams would be a lethal roundball weapon the likes of which the world has never seen. There would be ceremonies to honor each birthday, the giant clock would be resurrected at the Kayefseum to count down the days to his eligibility. Then he'd commit to UK at the 11th hour and the city would descend into madness and rioting. I'd lead a small but ruthless band around the ashes of the city, growing drunk with power and powerfully drunk with each broken liquor store window. Then I'd fulfill my dream of overthrowing the local government and setting up a somewhat-enlightened despot-ship holding court at the Woodford Reserve Club. It's gonna happen.

* Karen Sypher and Brandon Bender. There's something comforting about the concept of pure evil, it delineates the world. Even the loathsome John Calipari organized charity drives for Haitian relief (for which he did his share of grandstanding, but still). We need to do worse than that, and the spawn of Sypher and Bender, an 8 pound 3 ounce Anti-Cardinal and the world's youngest UCF recruit, would serve nicely.

* Peyton Siva and Shoni Schimmel. The cheekbones, my god, think of the cheek bones. Ya know thousands of years in the future when interbreeding (can you say interbreeding, is that PC?) has eliminated all races and earthlings are visiting planets wearing the same outfit. The Earth rep would look exactly like a young Peypey Schimmel-Siva.

* Kuric and J-Back. There's lots of females with crushes on the King around town, but no one has been as early and consistently smitten as my friend J-Back. Like the rights of prima nocte in Braveheart, J-Back would claim Kuric as her own; the child would talk a lot more than Kyle and suffer from slightly stalkerish tendencies, but still, she's earned it. Baby's middle name would be Persistence.

* Charlie Strong and all the Ladybirds. He's definitely earned it.

* Laila Ali and Clint Hurtt. The world desperately needs the next great heavyweight champ. And the sordid world of professional pugilism would perhaps suit Hurtt's particular, um, talents. Love ya Mr. Hurtt, please don't hurt me and please keep your nose clean.

* Paul Rogers and Nicole Scherzinger. The child would have an amazing voice, would be a great dancer, and would be horribly plagued with questions about how she came to be. They call that a triple threat.

* Beau Zach Smith and Diane Sawyer. It makes sense if you think about it.

* Teddy Bridgewater and Shawnta' Dyer. And they could name their child Ina. Just a beautiful name that sounds like an answer to a question. Q: The Ohio River's been lookin' pretty brown the past few weeks, whatcha gonna do about it?  A: Ina Dyer-Bridgewater, that's what I'm gonna do 'bout it.