Hooked on Phonics

Smee: I've just had an apostrophe.
Cpt. Hook: I think you mean an epiphany.
Smee: Lightning 'as just struck my brain.
Cpt. Hook: That must have hurt.

Let me say in advance, you're welcome. I've put my beautiful mind to work and I think I've solved our little arena name problem. I was stewing about the stupidity of the moniker yesterday, trying to figure what it would ultimately be called, at least in a conversational sense. Needless to say, no one's saying, "Hey, I'm heading down to the KFC YUM! Center tonight...no..no, not that one, the one downtown. Wanna meet up after?"

So what will it be called? I started just saying it faster, to see if it sounded less stupid that way. KFC-YUM, KFC-YUM, KFC-YUM. You break it down phonetically and say it quickly and you get Kay Eff See 'Em.

I repeated it a few times till the syllables became divorced from their former meaning, and that's when it hit me. The name bears striking linguistic similarity to the Colosseum, the most famous sports arena in history. Though its fast food ties are lost to history, the Colosseum was the Roman epicenter of sports for centuries. And now we've found its successor.

Behold the Kayefsseum, the marvel of the ages. You can tear that old one down now.